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Dead Men’s Shoes

The shelves in the charity shop were lined with dead men’s shoes. Sturdy brown brogues were laced tight against the probing fingers of prospective new ownership. Old ladies’ coats, some check, some plain, still smelled of perfume – Eau de Cologne, Lilies of the Valley. It all reminded me of my grandparents, long gone to meet their maker; but I wonder – up there – did they ever meet each other? Would she have come out of her corner fighting just long enough to return one broken nose before retiring to her dressing room for a quick kiss and a cuddle with husband number two?

Would number one still be standing in all his Royal Antediluvian Order of the Buffalo finery with his chest puffed out like a pigeon and looking like an escapee from the nearest pantomime? Or are wife-beaters barred from heaven and sent to spend eternity being beaten with brooms by buxom, apron-clad women who sport rollers and scream torrents of abuse at the poor defenceless bastards?

She married again, my gran – and for a few years before he died, knew love and peace at its best. The second husband moved into granddad’s house, into his chair by the fire, and may have even smoked his pipe, but he didn’t take his bed. The two single beds that had lay against opposite walls in my grandparent’s bedroom were replaced by one big, cosy double.

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